If you are a pretty regular reader of this blog, and you've read the blog titled "...Pray for Those Who Persecute You..." then you'll remember me writing about a man named Tony Jones... A man I had never met, yet had taken on the challenge to pray for everyday for a year. One year turned into two years, and now here we are today.
June 17, 2010 at 12:45 am Tony Jones went to dance with Jesus.
I weep at the thought of the family He left behind. Two little kids, a wife, a Father and a Mother... they rest in the shadow of the Most High.
My heart is broken, because I know that it is okay to mourn. It is okay to grieve, to cry, to feel the brokenness of this world. Because that is just what it is, broken. I weep because life is hard. Cancer sucks. I guess it's all part of the great fall.
I rejoice because of the promises that we find on the lines of God's love letter he left for us...
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1
Weeping may endure for the night, but JOY comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
Today, I was driving home from work with my windows down in 97 degree weather, blaring Hillsong out my windows... thinking the ol' max (my car) might explode... singing at the top of my lungs. The Holy Spirit was filling me with the Truth. Reminding me that He still sits on the throne.
"No weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering... You hold me now. No darkness, no sick or lame, no hiding... You hold me now."
"All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."
"I'm found in the arms of Love, for Your Love, it has saved my soul."
The Lord Reigns... Let the earth Be glad. Psalm 97.
I know He still sits on the throne. I will weep knowing the joy comes in the morning. We must fill ourselves up with the truth. Because the light overwhelms the darkness. Satan can't stand the truth, and He wont come anywhere near it.
Then you will know the truth,and the Truth will set you
free. John 8:32
6.17.2010
6.16.2010
"Sweep Me Away..."
I had a conversation the other night with a friend about the difference in blogging and journaling. After a long discussion comparing the two of them, here is what we decided: journaling is thoughts on paper in the rawest form. While blogging is writing down the same thoughts but writing them and then rewriting them and critiquing them, and then publishing them to the cyber world.
Emotionally, this week has been tough... so because I lack the energy it takes to critique, this is my journal entry. raw as it can be.
Friday marks the 3 year anniversary of the death of a dear friend of mine. 3 years. I can not begin to grasp that it has already/only been three years. It seems that the time has crept by... at the same time it seems that it has flown. Today, I sat on my back porch and thought about all the great times, and the extraordinary impact this man left behind. He was Extraordinary.
I've been listening to a song by Kari Jobe called "Sweep Me Away". It goes like this: "Sweep me away, sweep me away in Your love... where nothing else matters."
That has been my prayer this week. Coach Snider has been swept away by His love, and nothing else matters anymore... to me, that is so resfreshing. He no longer lays in pain, he dances for Jesus.
"Rise up, My Darling! Come away with me. Look, the winter is past, and the rain is over and gone. The season of singing has come." Song of Songs 2:10-12
The season of singing has come.
"Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
*Whoever you are, wherever you are... know that you are loved. You have a purpose, and you have a role to play in this world. Don't give that up. I am thankful for you. Wherever your heart is at, whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one or searching for something that brings more satisfaction than what you've found so far, please know that there is hope. I pray that you are swept away by God's love. His extreme,empowering, thick, furious love. In Him, nothing else matters. His grace is overwhelming, and his Joy comes with the morning.
"Sweep Me Away... Sweep me away in Your love, where nothing else matters..."
Emotionally, this week has been tough... so because I lack the energy it takes to critique, this is my journal entry. raw as it can be.
Friday marks the 3 year anniversary of the death of a dear friend of mine. 3 years. I can not begin to grasp that it has already/only been three years. It seems that the time has crept by... at the same time it seems that it has flown. Today, I sat on my back porch and thought about all the great times, and the extraordinary impact this man left behind. He was Extraordinary.
I've been listening to a song by Kari Jobe called "Sweep Me Away". It goes like this: "Sweep me away, sweep me away in Your love... where nothing else matters."
That has been my prayer this week. Coach Snider has been swept away by His love, and nothing else matters anymore... to me, that is so resfreshing. He no longer lays in pain, he dances for Jesus.
"Rise up, My Darling! Come away with me. Look, the winter is past, and the rain is over and gone. The season of singing has come." Song of Songs 2:10-12
The season of singing has come.
"Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
*Whoever you are, wherever you are... know that you are loved. You have a purpose, and you have a role to play in this world. Don't give that up. I am thankful for you. Wherever your heart is at, whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one or searching for something that brings more satisfaction than what you've found so far, please know that there is hope. I pray that you are swept away by God's love. His extreme,empowering, thick, furious love. In Him, nothing else matters. His grace is overwhelming, and his Joy comes with the morning.
"Sweep Me Away... Sweep me away in Your love, where nothing else matters..."
5.30.2010
True Love
"Come close, listen to the story... about a love more faithful than the morning." -Phil Wickham, True Love
Every night I go to sleep knowing that I will wake up in the morning. that sounds foolish because I know that I am not promised tomorrow, but there aren't many things in this life that I can be as sure about as waking up in the morning.
I watched a movie tonight about a man who is obsessed with routine. It's as if he can't function outside of his daily schedule. Every Saturday he makes meatloaf; Sunday, lasagna. He wakes up to work on his coin collection. Every day. Nothing new.
I have a friend who wakes up every single morning at 4:51 AM. Not 4:50 or 4:55, but 4:51.
It's interesting to me, as Americans, or maybe even as humans how obsessed we are with knowing everything will work out on our schedule at the right time for us. We all have our agendas and our to-do lists. We get into this funk, knowing that every day will begin and end exactly the same way as the one before it, and the one after it. It's comfortable. Predictable.
Until something outrageous happens. Something that rocks our world.
It could be anything. Anything that could mess up our schedule.
Maybe it's a traffic jam on the way to work. Maybe it's the obnoxious commericials on the radio station. Maybe it's the call from a friend who needs a raincheck when you're already at the restaurant waiting for them. Maybe it's the call from a friend who desperately needs you to listen without asking questions. Maybe it's the phone call that delivers the terrible news. Maybe it's the diagnosis. Or the police at the front door at ten o'clock on a school night when your kid isn't home yet. Maybe it's falling in love.
It could be anything really. Anything that could mess up our routine.
"Come close, listen to the story... about a love more faithful than the morning."
Remember the last time you experienced a crisis? It could be a personal crisis, or a family crisis, or even a national crisis. Remember falling on your face and crying out to God,
"Where are You?!"
"...a Love more faithful than the morning."
God's love is more faithful than the fact and assurance that the morning will come. Even more faithful than the sun coming up. I know God's patient, and kind, and selfless, and rejoicing Love is present in my life, every second. When I am following routine, and when I am faced with hardship.
I know that when He calls me to step out of the boat, every thing I've ever known, His love is faithful.
I know that when I fear the unknown about my future, His love is faithful.
I know when I mourn the loss of a dear friend, His love is faithful.
I know that when people leave, when people are called to different places, His love is faithful.
Which brings me to my two choices.
1) I can live in comfort, honoring God with my writing and my voice and my talents, hoping that my routine will never get rocked, and staying away from all outside distractions,
or
2) I can live in such a way that I, routinely, wake up every morning and die to myself so that I can live and walk and breathe in Christ, knowing that because I am with Him, my circumstances are besides the point. Because His love is faithful.
I choose # 2.
In fact, I pray that God will light my path just enough so I can see where to take my next step. I dont need to know all the answers. That requires no faith. No trust. All I need to know is that I follow the One who carries the torch. The One who is the torch.
And I'll walk that path, knowing that wherever He leads me, His love is faithful.
Every night I go to sleep knowing that I will wake up in the morning. that sounds foolish because I know that I am not promised tomorrow, but there aren't many things in this life that I can be as sure about as waking up in the morning.
I watched a movie tonight about a man who is obsessed with routine. It's as if he can't function outside of his daily schedule. Every Saturday he makes meatloaf; Sunday, lasagna. He wakes up to work on his coin collection. Every day. Nothing new.
I have a friend who wakes up every single morning at 4:51 AM. Not 4:50 or 4:55, but 4:51.
It's interesting to me, as Americans, or maybe even as humans how obsessed we are with knowing everything will work out on our schedule at the right time for us. We all have our agendas and our to-do lists. We get into this funk, knowing that every day will begin and end exactly the same way as the one before it, and the one after it. It's comfortable. Predictable.
Until something outrageous happens. Something that rocks our world.
It could be anything. Anything that could mess up our schedule.
Maybe it's a traffic jam on the way to work. Maybe it's the obnoxious commericials on the radio station. Maybe it's the call from a friend who needs a raincheck when you're already at the restaurant waiting for them. Maybe it's the call from a friend who desperately needs you to listen without asking questions. Maybe it's the phone call that delivers the terrible news. Maybe it's the diagnosis. Or the police at the front door at ten o'clock on a school night when your kid isn't home yet. Maybe it's falling in love.
It could be anything really. Anything that could mess up our routine.
"Come close, listen to the story... about a love more faithful than the morning."
Remember the last time you experienced a crisis? It could be a personal crisis, or a family crisis, or even a national crisis. Remember falling on your face and crying out to God,
"Where are You?!"
"...a Love more faithful than the morning."
God's love is more faithful than the fact and assurance that the morning will come. Even more faithful than the sun coming up. I know God's patient, and kind, and selfless, and rejoicing Love is present in my life, every second. When I am following routine, and when I am faced with hardship.
I know that when He calls me to step out of the boat, every thing I've ever known, His love is faithful.
I know that when I fear the unknown about my future, His love is faithful.
I know when I mourn the loss of a dear friend, His love is faithful.
I know that when people leave, when people are called to different places, His love is faithful.
Which brings me to my two choices.
1) I can live in comfort, honoring God with my writing and my voice and my talents, hoping that my routine will never get rocked, and staying away from all outside distractions,
or
2) I can live in such a way that I, routinely, wake up every morning and die to myself so that I can live and walk and breathe in Christ, knowing that because I am with Him, my circumstances are besides the point. Because His love is faithful.
I choose # 2.
In fact, I pray that God will light my path just enough so I can see where to take my next step. I dont need to know all the answers. That requires no faith. No trust. All I need to know is that I follow the One who carries the torch. The One who is the torch.
And I'll walk that path, knowing that wherever He leads me, His love is faithful.
5.26.2010
So, I trust...
"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing." -Donald Miller
5.18.2010
The Time is Now.
Sometimes I day dream about how my life would be different if I were born in a different point on the globe, at a different point in history. I wonder what kind of family I would have, what kind of issues I would deal with, and what kind of lifestyle I would lead. I think to myself, "What if I had been born in Darfur, and lost my family to genocide?" or "What if I was a little jewish girl in WWII? Would I have had the strength to survive?" A lot of times I'll catch myself thinking "Why did God place ME in a godly home, with strong parents who made a promise to stay together forever? Why did He give ME life in 1992, when the United States has been free for years, where I don't have to fear our government, and where I can say and believe whatever I want?"
When I went to Amsterdam this past summer, the first lesson I learned (about ten seconds after I stepped off the plane) was that it is only by the grace of God that I wasn't born into the sex capitol of the world, where slavery is ignored and people are treated as objects. It is by the grace of God that I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma at such a time as this.
"For this reason I was born, and for this cause I came into the world, that my life would bear witness to the Truth." John 18:37
From the very mouth of Jesus came these words. Words that inspire me, words that challenge me, and words that push me to live up to the standard of the Word.
I was created in the image of God, and He had each day of my life mapped out before I took my first breath. He knew the issues I would deal with, the heartache I would experience, the path I would choose. He knew that I would attend Family Church, and co-lead a girls small group. He knew I would graduate from Union High School, and He knew who I would choose to surround myself with. He knew the bumps I would stumble across while I walked the journey of finding myself, and He knew who I would meet along the way. He placed certain passions in my heart, and He equips me to live them out.
For whatever reasons that might still be unknown, I was created to be 18 years old in the year of 2010.
For whatever reasons that might still be unknown, YOU were created to be how ever old you are in the year of 2010. You are unique. You are called. You are equipped. You are never too young, and You are never too old. God has a plan for YOU to do something that only You can do at such a time as this. Together, we are the body of Christ. Each one of us with different functions, different passions, different strengths, different callings.
Each of us walk different paths, and along those paths are different lives that we have the opportunity to influence. We have influence, whether we realize it or not. The issue has never been whether or not we have influence, but, instead, how we use that infuence; for better or for worse? Our speech, the things we laugh at, the way we carry ourselves... all have influence. People are watching us. We are here for such a time as this... We must stand up. We must live in such a way that our lives bear witness to the Truth.
The Time is Now.
When I went to Amsterdam this past summer, the first lesson I learned (about ten seconds after I stepped off the plane) was that it is only by the grace of God that I wasn't born into the sex capitol of the world, where slavery is ignored and people are treated as objects. It is by the grace of God that I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma at such a time as this.
"For this reason I was born, and for this cause I came into the world, that my life would bear witness to the Truth." John 18:37
From the very mouth of Jesus came these words. Words that inspire me, words that challenge me, and words that push me to live up to the standard of the Word.
I was created in the image of God, and He had each day of my life mapped out before I took my first breath. He knew the issues I would deal with, the heartache I would experience, the path I would choose. He knew that I would attend Family Church, and co-lead a girls small group. He knew I would graduate from Union High School, and He knew who I would choose to surround myself with. He knew the bumps I would stumble across while I walked the journey of finding myself, and He knew who I would meet along the way. He placed certain passions in my heart, and He equips me to live them out.
For whatever reasons that might still be unknown, I was created to be 18 years old in the year of 2010.
For whatever reasons that might still be unknown, YOU were created to be how ever old you are in the year of 2010. You are unique. You are called. You are equipped. You are never too young, and You are never too old. God has a plan for YOU to do something that only You can do at such a time as this. Together, we are the body of Christ. Each one of us with different functions, different passions, different strengths, different callings.
Each of us walk different paths, and along those paths are different lives that we have the opportunity to influence. We have influence, whether we realize it or not. The issue has never been whether or not we have influence, but, instead, how we use that infuence; for better or for worse? Our speech, the things we laugh at, the way we carry ourselves... all have influence. People are watching us. We are here for such a time as this... We must stand up. We must live in such a way that our lives bear witness to the Truth.
The Time is Now.
5.02.2010
Embrace It.
There is an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything under Heaven:
A time for birth and another for death,
A time to plant and another to reap,
A time to kill and another to heal,
A time to destroy and another to construct,
A time to cry and another to laugh,
A time to lament and another to cheer,
A time to make love and another to abstain,
A time to embrace and another to part,
A time to search and another to count your losses,
A time to hold on and another to let go,
A time to rip out and another to mend,
A time to shut up and another to speak up,
A time to love and another to hate,
A time to wage war and another to make peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I read this tonight, and it hit me like a bag of rocks. Isn't it cool that there is a divine appointment for everything under Heaven? A time for everything. Sometimes I forget that. I get overwhelmed. I get stressed out. I get anxious... It never solves anyting. Those things aren't accounted for in the above list.
The bible says "...Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth, all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day..." (Psalm 139)
Have you ever experienced heartbreak? Loss of a parent? Rejection from a friend?
"The Lord will fulfill His plans for me.." (Psalm 138)
If you don't already know, You should know that I LOVE to share feelings. I'm an open book. It could be genetic, but its also a lifestyle. I am a firm believer in truly feeling and embracing every emotion. I think I grow this way.
Sencondly, I'm also extremely passionate about asking questions. I'm intrigued by the affect of asking questions.I think it builds relationships. However, the art of asking questions is perfected when the answers are listened to and valued.
These two things have shaped my relationship with Jesus.
Yes, there is a time for everthing under Heaven. Yes, my entire life has been spread out before God. Yes, He will fulfill His plan for me. All of these things are true.
Yes, I experience confusion. Yes, I wonder where God is going and what the heck He is planning. Yes, I fall short.. and Yes, I sceam and cry and question...
"My grace is sufficient..." 2 Cor 12:8
Even in my darkest hour, even when I'm hurting, even when I can't handle it anymore... Even when I feel alone, even when I want to quit, even when I struggle, even when I forget how to walk in love... Even when I feel unworthy, even when I feel dry, even when I'm confused: His grace is sufficient.
"I'm absolutely convinced that nothing- nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between Me and God's love." Romans 8:38
Change is inevitable. Praise God that it all has already been mapped out.
The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
A time for birth and another for death,
A time to plant and another to reap,
A time to kill and another to heal,
A time to destroy and another to construct,
A time to cry and another to laugh,
A time to lament and another to cheer,
A time to make love and another to abstain,
A time to embrace and another to part,
A time to search and another to count your losses,
A time to hold on and another to let go,
A time to rip out and another to mend,
A time to shut up and another to speak up,
A time to love and another to hate,
A time to wage war and another to make peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I read this tonight, and it hit me like a bag of rocks. Isn't it cool that there is a divine appointment for everything under Heaven? A time for everything. Sometimes I forget that. I get overwhelmed. I get stressed out. I get anxious... It never solves anyting. Those things aren't accounted for in the above list.
The bible says "...Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth, all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day..." (Psalm 139)
Have you ever experienced heartbreak? Loss of a parent? Rejection from a friend?
"The Lord will fulfill His plans for me.." (Psalm 138)
If you don't already know, You should know that I LOVE to share feelings. I'm an open book. It could be genetic, but its also a lifestyle. I am a firm believer in truly feeling and embracing every emotion. I think I grow this way.
Sencondly, I'm also extremely passionate about asking questions. I'm intrigued by the affect of asking questions.I think it builds relationships. However, the art of asking questions is perfected when the answers are listened to and valued.
These two things have shaped my relationship with Jesus.
Yes, there is a time for everthing under Heaven. Yes, my entire life has been spread out before God. Yes, He will fulfill His plan for me. All of these things are true.
Yes, I experience confusion. Yes, I wonder where God is going and what the heck He is planning. Yes, I fall short.. and Yes, I sceam and cry and question...
"My grace is sufficient..." 2 Cor 12:8
Even in my darkest hour, even when I'm hurting, even when I can't handle it anymore... Even when I feel alone, even when I want to quit, even when I struggle, even when I forget how to walk in love... Even when I feel unworthy, even when I feel dry, even when I'm confused: His grace is sufficient.
"I'm absolutely convinced that nothing- nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between Me and God's love." Romans 8:38
Change is inevitable. Praise God that it all has already been mapped out.
The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
4.09.2010
"...Pray for those who persecute you..."
The past couple weeks my prayers have been consumed with one man in particular. He is a close family friend who is battling cancer...
I hate cancer more than anything, and I know that is silly to say because no one likes cancer; however, the effect it has had on my life turned my world upside down.
...anywho, this man's parents have been best friends with my parents for years, so together they have walked through this battling process. I have known his parents for years, yet I have never met this man.
Two januarys ago I was challenged to do 3 things throughout the year of 2009: Encourage one person often, mentor one person consistantly, and pray for one person daily. The idea was to think of one person for each catagory that maybe wasn't a part of my every day life, in hopes that it would get me out of my comfort zone.
I adopted Tony as the one person I would pray for daily. Because I had never met Tony, I would sometimes find myself frustrated because I didn't know what effect, if any, my prayer had on his life.
Eventually, I grew to love this man. I began to believe in him, and I began to be so interested in how his life was, how his battle was, how his family was, what i could be praying for... these things became important to me... and i had never even met him.
So, Here is what I wonder:
what would happen if we created a love movement by praying for people daily? People who we don't know. People we grew up with. People we love. People we don't love. Our best friends. Our enemies. Our teachers. Our nation. Our government. People who torment us. People who persecute us. People who speak life over us. People who speak lies about us. People who have encouraged us. People who have hurt us.
How will we react when we finally discover that the power of prayer overrides the power of depression, sickness, bitterness, hatred, and anger...?
What would the movement look like?
I hate cancer more than anything, and I know that is silly to say because no one likes cancer; however, the effect it has had on my life turned my world upside down.
...anywho, this man's parents have been best friends with my parents for years, so together they have walked through this battling process. I have known his parents for years, yet I have never met this man.
Two januarys ago I was challenged to do 3 things throughout the year of 2009: Encourage one person often, mentor one person consistantly, and pray for one person daily. The idea was to think of one person for each catagory that maybe wasn't a part of my every day life, in hopes that it would get me out of my comfort zone.
I adopted Tony as the one person I would pray for daily. Because I had never met Tony, I would sometimes find myself frustrated because I didn't know what effect, if any, my prayer had on his life.
Eventually, I grew to love this man. I began to believe in him, and I began to be so interested in how his life was, how his battle was, how his family was, what i could be praying for... these things became important to me... and i had never even met him.
So, Here is what I wonder:
what would happen if we created a love movement by praying for people daily? People who we don't know. People we grew up with. People we love. People we don't love. Our best friends. Our enemies. Our teachers. Our nation. Our government. People who torment us. People who persecute us. People who speak life over us. People who speak lies about us. People who have encouraged us. People who have hurt us.
How will we react when we finally discover that the power of prayer overrides the power of depression, sickness, bitterness, hatred, and anger...?
What would the movement look like?
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