Spare Change

What is it that you're asking God for today? What is it that you need?

As I live here in Norman, I find myself more and more blessed every single day. I stand in awe of the relationships that have already unfolded before me. Role models and mentors that I could have only dreamed of are now instantly standing beside me when I need any kind of support.

Growing up I learned the moto "It's not what you know, but who you know" real early. As I've gotten older, I've become a strong believer in the truth of that saying. If we set goals as high as the moon, but do not build relationships along the way, we will get no where. We were created for community, and we must stop and see the people that God has placed in our paths. Maybe that relationship doesnt have much of an effect on you... maybe you're being used to better someone else. Be aware of your surroundings, there is ALWAYS a new friend to meet, and it's only a matter of time.

Anyways, that was just a sidenote.

I've been talking to some of my girlfriends this week about what's going on in their school lives within the next few weeks... with midterms coming up, everyone is in a studying frenzy - always on their way to the Library. We've been talking about the worries that we each have when it comes to our grades - none of us being familiar with College yet, trying our hardest to get into the swing of things.

My mom would always tell me to "speak life" over things. Naturally, it's now the first thing that pops into my head.

God is so huge. I would hate to tell him that He's not smart enough for Zoology, or Chem, or Anthropology... I can only imagine what He would get on that test... :)

"A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish anything - or destroy it!" James 3:5

I have a friend that was taking Chem a couple years ago and He got a bad grade on one of his tests so he had been re-studying all of the material so he could retake the test that he failed... he forgot that he had a new test over the new material on the same day. As he ran out of his house his cousin yelled a quick prayer for him asking God to help him on the test, asking God for favor.

He got a 100% on the test that he had completely forgotten about.

Could you imagine what our world would look like if we asked God for whatever it was that we needed, and expected Him to move?

As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. "Rabbi," his disciples asked him, "why was this man born blind? was it because of his own sins or his parents' sins?" - "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins," Jesus answered. "This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world."
Then he spit on the ground, made mud with the saliva, and spread the mud over the blind man's eyes. He told him, "Go wash yourself in the pool of Siloam." So the man went and washed and came back seeing! -John 9:1-7

Have you ever caught yourself asking God for spare change? - "Lord, please help me do okay on this test." "God, even just a little record deal will do." "Lord, help the doctors find a medicine that will heal me." Instead of "Lord, your word says that you came to give life and give it abundantly, I know that by your stripes I WAS healed. So I rebuke this sickness in the name of Jesus and send it straight to the pit of hell. I am Healed!"

What will it take for us to become a culture of need... When will we realize that we need a savior the same way the african people do, and the haitians? When will we stop believing God can do outrageous things, and start expecting Him to? Even satan believes, and shakes with fear. Our "faith" comes in when we expect God to heal us.

Too often we ask for spare change from God out of false humility. We miss opportunities when we ask for spare change. Don't you think God is waiting for a people who are waiting for Him to show off in and through them?

"I have appointed you for this very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame throughout the earth." Romans 9:17

I've heard it said before that "we want to see a miracle, but we don't want to be one" its time we let God use us how he wants to rock the face of North America. We are a continent that is desperate for something solid. Something that we can find Joy in...

Spare change will only get you so far. Start asking for what you need, expect God to take care of you, and watch Him at His finest.

We're waiting, God. Blow us away.

Sing!

Man, I've been sitting in my dorm watching this video over and over and over again, laughing hysterically to the point of tears. Her dad leaves a caption saying "What she lacks in tonal quality, she makes up in enthusiasm and volume".

I love the way her dad is so proud of her - when she gets a point in the song that she is so excited about she screams it with excitement and you can hear her dad laugh in the background.

He smiles and laughs with her. He marvels at how beautiful she is.

Watch it again. Notice the way her baby sister feeds off of her energy. Her joyful spirit is not only darling, but its now contagious.

It reminds me of the way my dad looks at me. He thinks i'm a goofball and a weirdo, but next to my mom he's my biggest fan. He laughs at the silly things i say and do... Reminding me that its okay to be a little different. He's proud to call me his, he claims me and protects me. He showers me with his love, reminding me that he isn't going anywhere. ever. Not even one day has come or gone where I have feared that my dad would leave me...

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

I can't even begin to imagine how much more Jesus looks at me and smiles... He radiates with joy.. over me! I bet when i sing for him, he laughs at my voice and obsesses over my enthusiasm...

If Jessica was singing without the volume or enthusiasm, she wouldn't be nearly as funny or as entertaining... but because she is so excited to sing for her dad, even when she messes up, she radiates joy. Her spirit is contagious.

Sing praises today. Be loud and excited and joyful! Jesus is so proud of you, He calls you His own... and He loves the way you sing.

PTL

Friday night I got to drive to Bethany, Oklahoma to visit my brother... to just relax and enjoy the peaceful neighborhood where he was staying. He lives about 35 minutes from me, so you'd think I could go see him often... I hadn't seen him in about a month though - life is hectic, and people are busy!

Saturday my parents and sister came to the area for Luke's football game, but came a few hours early to see me so we could catch up and hang out - i needed to feel the presence of stability. My cup was completely overfilled with abundant joy from getting to be in their presence. I've missed them so much - I had no idea how dependent I was on my family...

For the past couple weeks, since the semester has started, a few of my friends and I have been randomly busting out in song about all the things we love - Shelby and I publically display it on facebook to each other, while Sarah and I yell it while we walk down the south oval - and Mady and I pretty much just love to live a lifestyle of constantly loving the most silly things. (I'm pretty sure I've gotten weirder since I've moved to college!)

I love the birds, and the songs they sing. I love the beautiful weather. I love the rain. I love the grass on the south oval. I love walking through hundreds of people while I'm walking from building to building. I love walking! I love the caf. I love the songs I'm learning at U-Sing. I love to sing. I love to celebrate birthdays. I love to celebrate half-birthdays. I love to celebrate! I love to drink water. I love to lay in the grass. I love to watch the squirrels. I love to call people squirrels. I love to read the side walk chalk on the walk ways all over campus. I love to imagine writing my own announcements on the sidewalks. I love to meet new friends on the elevator. everytime i'm on an elevator. I love to learn peoples names. I love to go to Theta. I love to paint. I love paintings. I love to lay on boats. I love to dance. I love naming EVERYTHING Rex. I love uggs. I love OCTOBER. I love blessing people. I love fingernail polish. I love to laugh. I love to cry. I love to play in the rain. I love to yell. I love to whisper. I love the trees. I love spanish. I love accents.

In such a busy lifestyle, from going to class to dinner to theta to practice to chapter to new member meetings to dates to studying, I love to remind myself of all the things I have to be thankful for... all the things I love.

The other day I was sitting at starbucks with two of my best friends, Amanda and Mady, and we were talking about certain things in our lives... things that made us sad... pretty much just sharing feelings - and when I looked down at my starbucks cup the initials "PTL" were written on it.

In starbucks language "PTL" means "Passion Tea Lemonade" but in my language it means "Praise the Lord"... it was a pleasant reminder that the Lord is sovereign, and he works out all things for the good of those who love him. We all got a laugh out of the irony, and reminded each other to praise the Lord about something, anything, during hard times.

So - whatever day it is that you are reading this - here is a challenge from me to you: Talk about the things you love. Speak them out loud. Write them down. Hang them somewhere that you can see them and be reminded of them. Dance. Make pasta. Drink lemonade. Go for a walk. Show up somewhere alone. Buy a $4 coffee. Celebrate yourself. Watch the birds. Marvel at how many flies are gathered around one meal. Race. Be in community with someone else. Ask soemone else what they love. Speak life over someone. Declare liberty over your days - you were created to live abundantly. Isn't that cool? You were created to be in CONSTANT joy - celebrating and engaging with people - laughing about the beauty of the world... the butterflies and the leaves falling from the trees... the sound the wind makes and the crunch of an aged leaf.

Not even the next moment is promised to you, its a world of unknown futures and chaotic weeks - days that turn into seconds... you find yourself wondering where the time has gone. Tests, and papers and traveling and practices and positions to fill and music to write... maybe you're waiting to be discovered. Or maybe you are trapped in a violent relationship. Maybe you've lost your best friends. Or your kid moved away. Maybe you long for something real, a love that lasts... maybe you wonder if "love" could ever really last... maybe you long for a role model that has a positive influence. maybe you're sick of taking care of your family at age 17... Maybe you long to be a kid again.

Marvel.

We live in such a beautiful world. Love something.

Recklessness.

Have you taken time lately to hear whats going on in the world?

In my communication class this week we learning the importance of listening - one of the points in the book was that more times than not, we listen to what other people say so we can respond to them with our thoughts and opinions on whatever the issue is. We listen to respond. Instead of listening to hear. When's the last time you listened to someone, just hear them? I had to get myself in check on this one - I usually listen to respond. I think more of us are guilty of it than we would like to admit.

hear this:

Chile's mining minister expressed optimism Thursday that the 33 miners trapped since early last month 2,300 feet (701 meters) below ground here will be rescued in early November and maybe sooner.

The Census Bureau has released its annual poverty report showing more people are living at or below the poverty threshold. This means many are finding themselves there for the first time.“Maria,” who was too embarrassed to give us her true name or allow us to photograph her face, says she and her husband have had to sell their most cherished possessions.“We sold our wedding rings, our furniture, everything,” said Maria.

Sheryl WuDunn says, "Before long, we will consider sex slavery, honor killings and acid attacks as unfathomable as foot-binding. The question is how long that transformation will take and how many girls will be kidnapped into brothels before it is complete -- and whether each of us will be part of that historical movement, or a bystander."

Guatemalan police on Thursday were searching for a drug trafficker who initiated a shootout with police at a shopping mall the day before.

These things are going on in the world, and we don't even think twice about them... is it because they seem to be across the globe, and have no effect on us? Or is it because we have "other" things to worry about... more important things...

I got in a 'debate' with a friend today about the idea of having a female president - I understand that we all have different opinions about this, which is fine - but I think through this talk that we were having, i discovered that there was really an underlying issue. In multiple places throughout the bible, it talks about men being the head of the house hold - Paul tells us that men should love their wives the way Christ loves the church - even giving His life for her; and in return wives are to submit to their husbands. (Eph.5) I completely agree with this - and will do it gladly.

But what if we took gender out of the equation? what if we were submissive and loved each other in the greatest form, that we would even lay down our lives for eachother if it came to that?

The underlying issue is not the gender of our president - the issue is that we get more upset with each other about issues like this instead of getting angry over what's really wrong in the world.

when i asked him if he would vote for a godly woman over an ungodly man to lead this nation, which he would pick... the answer was somewhere along the lines of "the woman- but that choice would only happen because this country isn't full of christians"

I feel like it doesn't take much to realize that the body of christ is lacking in doing its job around here - I mean, the two greatest commandments are to Love God and to Love People... right? So if we are legitimately following Jesus than we would be more worried about taking care of the orphans and the widows and the poverty stricken than we are. Jesus said "What you do to the least of these, you're doing to me" (Matt 25) I think we should take that seriously. Its time we get angry about the things are wrong in this world - we waste our time and our breath with arguing about things that are so controversial that we will probably never agree on, and then we get mad at each other for having opposing ideas...

Hear this:

"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope, and love"? That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack today is not psychology or literature...what we lack is a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God. And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish... but never the chameleon." - Kaj Munk

Will people know who we are by the things that make us angry?

I once heard that if only seven percent of professing christians in the world adopted an orphan, there would be no more orphans...

What is making you angry? We must get a grip on a Holy rage - the world is watching our every move... a world that is searching for something stable, something true, something that lasts... we hold the answer - it replinishes itself. We can never get rid of it - when we empty our cups, they get filled back up. We have to stand up for something that matters.

It's time we run hard and fast after something that can rock human history until it conforms to the norm of the Kingdom of God... He wont relent until he has it all. Get angry about something.

Overcomers.

Fifteen years ago, 1 in 288 teenager girls cut themselves.

Fifteen years ago, 0% of teenage boys cut themselves.

One of my good friends, Alison, moved to India this passed summer and is living there for the next year... She emailed me last week and asked me what she could be praying for me and I got to tell her what God had been doing in my life.

I grew up around boys. All the time. Before my Sophomore, junior and senior year my best friends were boys... I liked to believe that they made better friends; less drama. Growing up, if my dad and brother were doing one thing and my mom and sister were doing another, you'd usually find me with Craig and Luke. It's just the way I was.

My junior and senior year of highschool I developed a passion for connecting with young women, and walking through life together. I was constantly being reminded that us girls gotta stick together. We have to be for each other. It's the only way we'll make it out.

The Lord has been so faithful. I ask the Lord to place girls in my life that I need to meet. Girls I need to mentor me. Girls I need to invest in. Girls who will probably end up changing my life.. I'm in a new city at a huge university and I'm surrounded by girls everywhere I turn. I live on an all girls floor, and I'm constantly with girls from my sorority. I've gotten to meet so many girls who are in the same boat as I am... so many new friends to make and stories to hear.

I keep asking the Lord to show me who I am.

Who am I?

I am a daughter of the Most High King - a daughter.

I'm learning what that means. I'm learning what it means to really be a girl. I've lost a desire to be "one of the guys" - I want to be who God has created me to be. Girly, and pretty, and joyful, and classy, and lovable.

She is more precious than rubies, and she will greatly enrich his life. She is energetic, and strong, and hard working. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. - Proverbs 31


I've been asking God to show me who I am... how to be His girl. His daughter. His wife, the church.

I am more precious than rubies, and I will greatly enrich his life. I will strive to be energetic and strong and hardworking. I will extend a hand to the poor and open my arms to the needy. I am clothed with strength and dignity, and I laugh without fear of the future. When I speak, my words are wise and I will give instructions with kindness.

Life is hard, and sometimes it's too hard to be who we are called to be. We are overcomers. We are not meant for this world. We were created for another one. The life after this... We are called to be IN this world, but not OF it.

Today, 1 in 5 teenage girls cut themselves.

Today, 1 in 7 teenage boys cut themselves.

Sometimes life interupts our plans... we get stuck in a moment that feels like it will last forever. We can't see past the darkness that we live in... we feel like hope is non existant.

Hope is real. We are overcomers. Remember the light - it is coming for you even when you cant see it. Your story matters. You were created to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Talk to someone. Your words are worth something. Your life is more precious than rubies.

Who are you? You are an overcomer.

Run With Purpose

I LOVE COLLEGE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M HERE.

I feel like this whole experience is a dream... I always thought I was made for high school. I loved everything about high school. The teachers, the administrators, the events, the dances, the mud fights... I had the greatest high school experience, and I would defend that to my death. I dont think I would go back and change a single thing if I was given the opportunity. I built relationships in that high school that I know will stick with me throughout life, relationships that prepared me for the future.. relationships that taught me to always stay "childlike" in my faith. If anything, I was definitely blessed with shaking the right hands at the right time.

Now I'm in college, and honestly... Its just about the exact same. I still have teachers that I could really love, I still have events to attend... fun surrounds me in every direction I turn. I still have so many of the same opportunities, but on a bigger scale. My friendships have expanded... new friends galore :)

The only difference is this: I dont have my parents to tell me what to do and when do it... They dont wake me up before church and wait for me while I'm getting ready. I'm on my own. I have the opportunity to find a family that I'm unfamiliar with... its uncomfortable, but it's so rewarding. I've never been so far out of my comfort zone, but I couldn't be more blessed. I've been pushed out of the nest, and I'm beginning to spread my wings.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that for the last 18 years my parents have been raising me for this very time... to go out and be who I am destined and created to be. To love and to be loved.

I went to a church called Antioch yesterday, and I completely fell in love with it. I loved the way God spoke through the pastor, Chris. The sermon was about the parable of the sower and the lesson of "planting seeds". He also spoke from Acts 17 where Paul explains that from one man came every nation, and God has already decided when each of us would rise and fall. He knew that I would come to OU and He knew I would be a Theta and He knew I would be involved in different organizations and he knows the things that I dont even know yet... He ordained every second of my life, before he even created the world.

For in Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28

It was said of David that he was a man after God's own heart... What a reputation. I can only hope that someday someone will say that I was a woman after Gods own heart... In Psalm 27 David says "The one thing I ask is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."

That was the one thing he desired. To constantly be in the Throne Room. Thats it.

He didnt ask for anything else. Not a companion or a house or a family or a job or money or whatever else they had back in his day... He just wanted to be before the Lord all the days of his life.

4 years. If that.

I have four years to walk this campus. To love these people. To pour into these lives. To learn from these professors. To teach these professors. To grow in this city. To plant seeds here. To water seeds here. To reap harvest here.

The next four years are a blank canvas. Every decision I make is like a paint stroke that ultimately paints a picture. Today is the beginning.

I want to run hard and fast after God. I want to spend every day of my life before God in His throne room. I want my words and my actions and my decisions and my thoughts to make Jesus famous...

So I run with purpose in every step... 1 Corinthians 9:26

Wherever you find yourself today, tomorrow... You are beginning a new day. It's a new start. A fresh start. Run hard and fast... He has ordained your every move, your every breath. Never forget that you are called and equipped. Even if you're not qualified, you're called! Let God make up the rest, and he will... He loves you, so much. He watches over you and laughs at the silly things you do and say.

You are never alone.

The Countdown Begins...

6 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE INTO MY NEW HOME IN NORMAN OKLAHOMA...

I can't believe it. I have a rush of emotions filling my heart and my head. I'm nervous, and exciting, and confident, and hopeful, and anxious, and ready, and sad, and joyful, and willing... I have so much before me, so many new friends to meet... and so many friends that are staying behind.

There are a few people back in Tulsa who get me teary eyed when I think about leaving them... My parents, my Sister, My best friend Shelly, and my small group... I am who I am today mostly because of these people.

I've been praying a lot about what I'm supposed to leave here throughout the next six days, mostly so I can be ready instead of hesitant when I drive away.

Last monday was my second to last Crazy Love small group and we saw God move in a way we hadn't yet seen in that setting. We washed each others feet, because we knew that's what Jesus did for his friends. He set an example for them, and then told them to follow Him. We talked about the symbolism of washing each others feet and what it meant to be so humiliated that we were literally on our hands and knees washing and drying our friends' feet. We got to experience the heart of Jesus first hand. It wasn't comfortable, but it was eye opening.

What would it be like if we were serious about being humble before each other? If we literally asked people what they needed and found a way to get it to them? Whether it be a listening ear, or a blanket, or a summer scarf that we have a thousand of? What if it was a mattress or a friend or a meal? I think if we heard these needs, we would be quick to move... but what will it take for us to stop and ask? - To be so humiliated before eachother that we will give whatever we have... even if it is to wash someones feet.

My best friend, Shelly, is going to TU to play soccer... She has already moved in, and my friends and I went to go see her new room and experience "dorm life" with her. It stirred something in my heart... I was finally getting excited to move away! Then I realized, Shelly wouldn't be coming with me. Shelly has been my rock throughout the past few years... She was an answer to prayer, to say the least. She was the light Jesus put in my path when it was too dark for me to see, and when I was too weak to even open my eyes. She came alongside me, and she lifted me up. Honestly, I don't know if I would be here today without Shelly. Jesus knew what He was doing when He put her in my life,he knew we would need each other, and because of that I know we will always be friends. She has become my sister, more than anything else. We share a lot of the same passions, and a lot of the same dreams. She's going to be a Missionary by teaching someday, and I am so so so excited to see where she lands. "Spin the Globe" Shelly :)

I feel like I am too young to be moving away. I can't believe I'm going to be living without my parents. Today, my friend Margie asked me what I was going to miss the most about Tulsa and I said, "I think coming home every night and sharing feelings with my dad." I can't believe I wont be walking into my house, and seeing him waiting up for me. I can't believe I wont have my mom to come home to and cry to when I'm just having one of those days... or just need to cry. I can't believe she won't be waiting in my dorm room telling me to do something with that sassy tone in your voice... Her poweful outlook on life has shaped my personality and my sense of humor. I can't believe I wont be able to hear the two of them laughing hysterically with each other when I'm trying to sleep. I'm not Miss Independent when it comes to my family, so I think that will be one of my greatest obstacles. I guess I'm realizing how blessed I am to come from the family I come from.

My sister has finally moved back to Tulsa - and now I'm leaving her. She keeps telling me to find my "safe place" in Norman that I can go to or drive to when I need to cry - but she doesn't understand that She is my safe place. Whether we are in Florida and we wind up at the Donut Hole, or we are in Tulsa and we end up in the parking lot of Union High School... She's been my safe place, and I'm so so sad to be leaving her.

So these are my feelings about leaving - All my sisters, and my Dad.

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME. My dad sent me an email about all the things that I needed to hear as I move to college... but they were all things that could be found in my own writing: on my blog, or on my facebook wall. I know that God has been preparing my heart for all the new things that I'm about to encounter. All the new people, and new friends, and new stories, and new organizations and churches... I know that I am equipped... I'm just trusting that God will guide my steps.

"The world is knocking at your front door. Clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be." -Anis Mojgani

Here is to something new. Something beautiful. Stay tuned for all the new, hectic, exciting, scary adventures that I'm about to call my life!


It is all counted as Something Beautiful.