Donald Miller released his new book Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy yesterday, and I haven't been able to put it down since I left Barnes and Noble. He is vulnerable and honest and he invites his audience to get in the game of truly being known by others. He has this idea that if we can learn to stop performing for others, we might just connect with them. Perhaps we would discover the meaning of relationship when we begin to walk in transparency... and although this is a terrifying idea, I think it's also the window to freedom and abundance.
I was sitting in class yesterday, thinking about the book, and listening to my professor talk about justice and liberty for our people and as I began to write down a few thoughts my fingers got carried away...
There is no true freedom without you, Jesus. There are chains and hell-holes and hate and fear and captivity. Ashes surrounding us. But you trade your beauty for our ashes. You take away our filth and give us new identity. You are gentle, and you handle us with care because you created us in your own image and you knew that's exactly what we would need. But somehow, somewhere along the way we became self-righteous. We have become more concerned about what we are against than what and who we are for. Your simple instruction was to love you, and then to love our neighbors, but instead we tear people down because they are "sinful"... and we do it in your name. Which doesn't make sense, because it does not follow the example you set for us. When my identity read "sinner" you laid down your life for me. You found a way to exchange my scarlet sin for your purity. The stripes on your back, the spit in your face and the ridicule you endured were simply part of the sacrifice you made for me. But instead of taking up our own crosses, we crucify the people around us for the very things you already died and rose again for... for their beliefs, for their behavior, for their weaknesses, for the thorns in their side.
You didn't do that. In fact your response to our thorns is grace... abundant grace that runs so much deeper than our sin. We have royally screwed the up the instruction to sharpen one another like iron sharpens iron... instead, we take our swords and try to cut out the ugly parts in our neighbors while forgetting about the log in our own eye.
Sometimes there are quiet seasons between you and I... but there is one thing you taught me this summer that resounded like a bull horn -- "Woo out their new nature. Tell them what you see in them... and then tell them again. Because their old sinful self does not need to be ridiculed, or crucified, or corrected by you... I already took care of that part. It's finished. Whisper life into those dry bones, nurture them back to life."
If we are honest with ourselves, we all have a thing or two that we don't like other people to know... we lead bible studies, and go to church, and spend our summers overseas. We study subjects that will prepare us to change the world, yet we keep our scarlet covered up and instead of connecting with people, we begin to perform. I do not believe this is the way life was intended. We don't begin to heal until we feel safe with those who surround us. There is a desperate need for healing around here, and somehow we all act as thought we have it all together. We cannot experience life in abundance if we choose to live life alone. Life was never intended to be lived alone.
There's a part in Scary Close where Don is talking about struggling with a specific relationship and feeling like a failure... He has broken her heart, and it was time to end the relationship... but he's too scared to do it. He begins to wonder if he will ever find the right girl, and if he does, will he be able to keep her around... he talks about the bottle of whisky hidden behind his bible, and he suggests that he's become stagnant in his career but also with others. His friend Bob calls him every single week to check in on him, and every single week Bob tells him, "Ya know, Don... You're good at relationships." Bob gives Don examples every now and then, but the message Bob is presenting is clear: No matter what Don has done, he is still good at relationships. Bob didn't tell him that he needed to get his act together, or to stop drinking whiskey, or to pull himself out of the pit... he simply whispered life into dry bones, and eventually those words began to resonate in Don's soul. He started to believe the truth about himself, and the rest of those things fell in order.
Perhaps you're struggling right now, and you're afraid to open yourself up and tell others about your mess because you feel the shame... let me tell you something: You are good at relationships. Your depression does not define you. You were created for a specific part of this story that God designed and it would not be complete without you. I promise there is grace that abounds, and you're not too far from it. Be courageous. Open your heart and invite someone in, and just maybe you'll get a taste of what you were intended for.
If you know someone who is struggling, chances are they need to exchange their ashes for beauty, and perhaps your role is to remind them who are without judgement or an agenda. Chances are, they don't need to be reminded that they're lost... they need to be reminded where they're headed. Maybe its countercultural, and I'd even go as far to say that it's backwards from the way the church does it... but it's absolutely the way Jesus does it. His kindness is what brings us to our knees.
I dare you to step back and think about your role in the lives of the people around you. Start sharpening others by woo-ing out their new nature. Tell them what you see in them. By doing so, you disarm them and create a safe place for healing to happen. After all, Jesus came for the sick.
No comments:
Post a Comment