6 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE INTO MY NEW HOME IN NORMAN OKLAHOMA...
I can't believe it. I have a rush of emotions filling my heart and my head. I'm nervous, and exciting, and confident, and hopeful, and anxious, and ready, and sad, and joyful, and willing... I have so much before me, so many new friends to meet... and so many friends that are staying behind.
There are a few people back in Tulsa who get me teary eyed when I think about leaving them... My parents, my Sister, My best friend Shelly, and my small group... I am who I am today mostly because of these people.
I've been praying a lot about what I'm supposed to leave here throughout the next six days, mostly so I can be ready instead of hesitant when I drive away.
Last monday was my second to last Crazy Love small group and we saw God move in a way we hadn't yet seen in that setting. We washed each others feet, because we knew that's what Jesus did for his friends. He set an example for them, and then told them to follow Him. We talked about the symbolism of washing each others feet and what it meant to be so humiliated that we were literally on our hands and knees washing and drying our friends' feet. We got to experience the heart of Jesus first hand. It wasn't comfortable, but it was eye opening.
What would it be like if we were serious about being humble before each other? If we literally asked people what they needed and found a way to get it to them? Whether it be a listening ear, or a blanket, or a summer scarf that we have a thousand of? What if it was a mattress or a friend or a meal? I think if we heard these needs, we would be quick to move... but what will it take for us to stop and ask? - To be so humiliated before eachother that we will give whatever we have... even if it is to wash someones feet.
My best friend, Shelly, is going to TU to play soccer... She has already moved in, and my friends and I went to go see her new room and experience "dorm life" with her. It stirred something in my heart... I was finally getting excited to move away! Then I realized, Shelly wouldn't be coming with me. Shelly has been my rock throughout the past few years... She was an answer to prayer, to say the least. She was the light Jesus put in my path when it was too dark for me to see, and when I was too weak to even open my eyes. She came alongside me, and she lifted me up. Honestly, I don't know if I would be here today without Shelly. Jesus knew what He was doing when He put her in my life,he knew we would need each other, and because of that I know we will always be friends. She has become my sister, more than anything else. We share a lot of the same passions, and a lot of the same dreams. She's going to be a Missionary by teaching someday, and I am so so so excited to see where she lands. "Spin the Globe" Shelly :)
I feel like I am too young to be moving away. I can't believe I'm going to be living without my parents. Today, my friend Margie asked me what I was going to miss the most about Tulsa and I said, "I think coming home every night and sharing feelings with my dad." I can't believe I wont be walking into my house, and seeing him waiting up for me. I can't believe I wont have my mom to come home to and cry to when I'm just having one of those days... or just need to cry. I can't believe she won't be waiting in my dorm room telling me to do something with that sassy tone in your voice... Her poweful outlook on life has shaped my personality and my sense of humor. I can't believe I wont be able to hear the two of them laughing hysterically with each other when I'm trying to sleep. I'm not Miss Independent when it comes to my family, so I think that will be one of my greatest obstacles. I guess I'm realizing how blessed I am to come from the family I come from.
My sister has finally moved back to Tulsa - and now I'm leaving her. She keeps telling me to find my "safe place" in Norman that I can go to or drive to when I need to cry - but she doesn't understand that She is my safe place. Whether we are in Florida and we wind up at the Donut Hole, or we are in Tulsa and we end up in the parking lot of Union High School... She's been my safe place, and I'm so so sad to be leaving her.
So these are my feelings about leaving - All my sisters, and my Dad.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME. My dad sent me an email about all the things that I needed to hear as I move to college... but they were all things that could be found in my own writing: on my blog, or on my facebook wall. I know that God has been preparing my heart for all the new things that I'm about to encounter. All the new people, and new friends, and new stories, and new organizations and churches... I know that I am equipped... I'm just trusting that God will guide my steps.
"The world is knocking at your front door. Clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be." -Anis Mojgani
Here is to something new. Something beautiful. Stay tuned for all the new, hectic, exciting, scary adventures that I'm about to call my life!
It is all counted as Something Beautiful.
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