Do you ever have those moments when it seems the whole world is rushing around you and you see yourself standing among the chaos paralyzed... Or perhaps you're the one that feels like everything is spinning out of control, and you just can't get yourself to sit still for a single minute because you're confused and heartbroken and there are things to get done and things to fix and maybe those things are out of your control... Maybe it's a mixture of the two, which doesn't make sense but maybe nothing really has been making sense lately.
I am a lover of Jesus, and when I think about not writing about him I immediately have writers' block. When I think about writing to the masses, but leaving Jesus out of it, my mind goes blank. It's as if there is nothing to say without talking about him, because I don't think we are ever truly set free from captivity without Him. We can't beat our sickness, or overcome depression, or walk away from an addiction without Him because the truth is that he is our source of freedom. We can't truly accept our flaws, or see through our insecurities without Him because through Him we know that we were created in his likeness... that we are his masterpiece.
That season of life that I was describing... chaos and paralysis and heartbreak and attempting to fix it all... that has been me over the past couple months. It feels like my life has come to a screeching halt - maybe it's because my college career is coming to a close and I'm beginning to feel the pressure of figuring out the next step. Maybe it's because of a recent heartbreak, maybe it's a spiritual attack as I get ready to head to Thailand, maybe it's because I'm living in an extremely fast paced town and everyone has their own agendas, and it's so easy to feel left behind... It has been a really hard couple of months, but I'm learning that it's okay to have hard chapters of life.
I vividly remember sitting across the table from my mentor in a café when I was 14 years old and feeling so much bitterness toward her because she was supposed to be walking through that dark season with me... she was supposed to be asking me each day how I was doing, but instead she was going on with her life. As I cried out to her and confessed that I had been so upset with her for forsaking me in my time of need, she said "Kirby, you have to reach out." How would she know that I needed someone to walk with me if I wasn't willing to reach out and ask for help? I like the way God reminds us of our pasts in order to protect us from repeating history, because the truth is that we all have times when we desperately need other people to hold us up when we can't stand on our own. We are all weak and finite, but if we don't speak up and ask for help, they won't know to help us.
Sometimes we need to talk about the things in our lives that weigh us down... the expectations and the deep sadness that we feel. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are fighting an enemy, and he is trying to fill our heads with nonsense. In fact, he's described as the Father of Lies. He tries to tell us that the pressure is on us to perform well, and when we don't get the job it's because we don't have what it takes. If you feel like there isn't a man or a woman out there for you, be on guard. If you feel the weight of your dad walking out on your family, be on guard. If you feel like the abuse and the result of self-hatred is your fault, be on guard. If you feel like the responsibility of pleasing everyone is on you, listen up... You were not created to carry the weight of the world. Other peoples' choices are not a reflection of you or your worth. Grace does not depend on merit. You were not created to seek the approval of men, if they don't accept you? shake the dust. You do not have to prove to yourself or anyone else that you are good enough. You are not responsible for the hearts or future of anyone else, the truth is that God loves each one of them exactly the same way he loves you. He has promised to provide for them and protect them and guide them and love them the exact same way He as promised to do all those things for you. You are living with shackles because you're allowing the enemy to deceive you, but here's the good news: You don't have to fix any of it. You don't have to try to take it all back and start over... just drop it where you are. Drop the weights. Let them go.
There's this song that I love right now and it's called Nothing I Hold On To by Will Reagan & United Pursuit and he sings "I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to you, God, trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me."
That 's the cry of my heart. He created you so perfectly. Your circumstances are not permanent. You will not be in this place forever. You will walk through tough seasons, but your story was never intended to end there. If you'll give it to Jesus, he will liberate you from the pressure and the lies and the heartbreak. He will make something beautiful out of you, just take off your shackles.
I am a lover of Jesus, and when I think about not writing about him I immediately have writers' block. When I think about writing to the masses, but leaving Jesus out of it, my mind goes blank. It's as if there is nothing to say without talking about him, because I don't think we are ever truly set free from captivity without Him. We can't beat our sickness, or overcome depression, or walk away from an addiction without Him because the truth is that he is our source of freedom. We can't truly accept our flaws, or see through our insecurities without Him because through Him we know that we were created in his likeness... that we are his masterpiece.
That season of life that I was describing... chaos and paralysis and heartbreak and attempting to fix it all... that has been me over the past couple months. It feels like my life has come to a screeching halt - maybe it's because my college career is coming to a close and I'm beginning to feel the pressure of figuring out the next step. Maybe it's because of a recent heartbreak, maybe it's a spiritual attack as I get ready to head to Thailand, maybe it's because I'm living in an extremely fast paced town and everyone has their own agendas, and it's so easy to feel left behind... It has been a really hard couple of months, but I'm learning that it's okay to have hard chapters of life.
I vividly remember sitting across the table from my mentor in a café when I was 14 years old and feeling so much bitterness toward her because she was supposed to be walking through that dark season with me... she was supposed to be asking me each day how I was doing, but instead she was going on with her life. As I cried out to her and confessed that I had been so upset with her for forsaking me in my time of need, she said "Kirby, you have to reach out." How would she know that I needed someone to walk with me if I wasn't willing to reach out and ask for help? I like the way God reminds us of our pasts in order to protect us from repeating history, because the truth is that we all have times when we desperately need other people to hold us up when we can't stand on our own. We are all weak and finite, but if we don't speak up and ask for help, they won't know to help us.
Sometimes we need to talk about the things in our lives that weigh us down... the expectations and the deep sadness that we feel. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are fighting an enemy, and he is trying to fill our heads with nonsense. In fact, he's described as the Father of Lies. He tries to tell us that the pressure is on us to perform well, and when we don't get the job it's because we don't have what it takes. If you feel like there isn't a man or a woman out there for you, be on guard. If you feel the weight of your dad walking out on your family, be on guard. If you feel like the abuse and the result of self-hatred is your fault, be on guard. If you feel like the responsibility of pleasing everyone is on you, listen up... You were not created to carry the weight of the world. Other peoples' choices are not a reflection of you or your worth. Grace does not depend on merit. You were not created to seek the approval of men, if they don't accept you? shake the dust. You do not have to prove to yourself or anyone else that you are good enough. You are not responsible for the hearts or future of anyone else, the truth is that God loves each one of them exactly the same way he loves you. He has promised to provide for them and protect them and guide them and love them the exact same way He as promised to do all those things for you. You are living with shackles because you're allowing the enemy to deceive you, but here's the good news: You don't have to fix any of it. You don't have to try to take it all back and start over... just drop it where you are. Drop the weights. Let them go.
There's this song that I love right now and it's called Nothing I Hold On To by Will Reagan & United Pursuit and he sings "I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to you, God, trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me."
That 's the cry of my heart. He created you so perfectly. Your circumstances are not permanent. You will not be in this place forever. You will walk through tough seasons, but your story was never intended to end there. If you'll give it to Jesus, he will liberate you from the pressure and the lies and the heartbreak. He will make something beautiful out of you, just take off your shackles.
