Lately I've been uninspired. I've tried to write, and I keep coming up short. I'll write three or four paragraphs and erase it because the words don't seem right. The thing about this blog is that I write when I feel Jesus impress something on my heart. If I feel uninspired, it's because I haven't been listening. It's because I'm disconnected somewhere.
I hate being busy, but I find myself in the busiest season of my life right now. If I'm not working, or calling people and setting up meetings for Recruitment, I'm doing homework or driving back and forth to Tulsa. I'm living in black and white, instead of vibrant colors. This isn't the first or only time I'll ever feel like this... the truth is, life cycles in seasons. If I feel distant from Jesus, it's because I moved, not him... He speaks to me through others a lot, and it's been so good to hear from him again today.
I was reminded what it was that brought the colors back in my life. I was reminded what it feels like to dream. What it means to have bold, logically impossible dreams. Dreams that require supernatural intervention. Dreams to travel to the uttermost ends of the earth in order to seek the lost. Dreams to laugh with women about silly things. Dreams to write meaningful words. Dreams to risk my life in order to save someone else's.
When I went to Cambodia, I felt in my soul that I was most alive in that place. I was functioning in my element. I knew I belonged among those women. I don't necessary think Cambodia is the country for me, but in that hell hole in the middle of the Red Light district... In that place those girls called home. There was a fire inside of me that couldn't be touched. I knew that I had a choice to listen to logic and step away from the danger, or to "rush headlong into the most hazardous and impossible battles without pausing to consider the impossibilities." If I went with option A, I might have lived a happy and comfortable life; however, I knew that if I chose the latter it might change the world. The way David went to battle against Goliath with a sling shot and few stones... He wasn't afraid. He knew what was on the line. If he shrank back, he would live in captivity along with the rest of his people. If he went into battle without pausing to consider the impossibilities, the impossible might just happen. He killed Goliath with one stone. He obeyed.
I've been reading this book called The Circle Maker and it's about circling our prayers again and again until they come to pass. There's this one part that I can't get over. The author is talking about the type of faith Martha had when she was talking to Jesus about her brother Lazarus who had been dead for four days. She says, "If you would have been here, he wouldn't have died; but even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask." She wasn't afraid to be bold. The author points out two types of faith in her sentence. The first is the kind of faith where we know what God is capable of. She says, "He wouldn't have died if you would have been here..." She knows of Jesus' power, and she believes by faith that his presence would have healed Lazarus. The second form of faith comes with the second part of the sentence. The word "but" lets the reader know that there's a change in message... a second thought. She says, "but even now, I know that God will give you whatever you ask." He had been dead for four days, but Martha still believed that God could reverse the irreversible. She had the kind of faith that believed the past could be redeemed. She believed that it wasn't over simply because it looked that way... She believed God could bring the dead back to life, even when she felt like He was four days late.
Man, what does it take to have that kind of faith? I immediately think of the women and babies trapped in sex slavery around the globe, and I think about their hearts. I think about the lies they've been told. They believe they're worthless. They believe they're comparable to a dirty tissue, ready to be thrown out at any time. They don't know what it means to dream. They don't know there is life outside of selling their bodies. They don't know what it means to be loved by a man. They've been terribly deceived, and I have the truth! I have exactly what they need to know inside of me... I know that God is so good, and He is so big and has such extraordinary plans for each one of them. I believe that He can redeem their pasts. I believe He can undo the damage that has been done in their lives. I refuse to believe that this is the end of their stories. The best stories have a hero, the best stories are stories of redemption.
They bring me to life. They are the calling Jesus put on my life years and years ago.
I have to believe that there is something that makes you come alive. Maybe it's not prostitutes and women's ministry. Maybe it's not ministry at all. But I know there is something that pulls at your heart, something that lights a fire inside of you. If you don't know what it is, start praying circles around it. Be specific. God will reveal it to you, if you ask him. Learn to dream. Choose to rush headlong into the most hazardous and impossible circumstances without pausing to consider the impossibilities.
I promise, it's worth it.
I hate being busy, but I find myself in the busiest season of my life right now. If I'm not working, or calling people and setting up meetings for Recruitment, I'm doing homework or driving back and forth to Tulsa. I'm living in black and white, instead of vibrant colors. This isn't the first or only time I'll ever feel like this... the truth is, life cycles in seasons. If I feel distant from Jesus, it's because I moved, not him... He speaks to me through others a lot, and it's been so good to hear from him again today.
I was reminded what it was that brought the colors back in my life. I was reminded what it feels like to dream. What it means to have bold, logically impossible dreams. Dreams that require supernatural intervention. Dreams to travel to the uttermost ends of the earth in order to seek the lost. Dreams to laugh with women about silly things. Dreams to write meaningful words. Dreams to risk my life in order to save someone else's.
When I went to Cambodia, I felt in my soul that I was most alive in that place. I was functioning in my element. I knew I belonged among those women. I don't necessary think Cambodia is the country for me, but in that hell hole in the middle of the Red Light district... In that place those girls called home. There was a fire inside of me that couldn't be touched. I knew that I had a choice to listen to logic and step away from the danger, or to "rush headlong into the most hazardous and impossible battles without pausing to consider the impossibilities." If I went with option A, I might have lived a happy and comfortable life; however, I knew that if I chose the latter it might change the world. The way David went to battle against Goliath with a sling shot and few stones... He wasn't afraid. He knew what was on the line. If he shrank back, he would live in captivity along with the rest of his people. If he went into battle without pausing to consider the impossibilities, the impossible might just happen. He killed Goliath with one stone. He obeyed.
I've been reading this book called The Circle Maker and it's about circling our prayers again and again until they come to pass. There's this one part that I can't get over. The author is talking about the type of faith Martha had when she was talking to Jesus about her brother Lazarus who had been dead for four days. She says, "If you would have been here, he wouldn't have died; but even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask." She wasn't afraid to be bold. The author points out two types of faith in her sentence. The first is the kind of faith where we know what God is capable of. She says, "He wouldn't have died if you would have been here..." She knows of Jesus' power, and she believes by faith that his presence would have healed Lazarus. The second form of faith comes with the second part of the sentence. The word "but" lets the reader know that there's a change in message... a second thought. She says, "but even now, I know that God will give you whatever you ask." He had been dead for four days, but Martha still believed that God could reverse the irreversible. She had the kind of faith that believed the past could be redeemed. She believed that it wasn't over simply because it looked that way... She believed God could bring the dead back to life, even when she felt like He was four days late.
Man, what does it take to have that kind of faith? I immediately think of the women and babies trapped in sex slavery around the globe, and I think about their hearts. I think about the lies they've been told. They believe they're worthless. They believe they're comparable to a dirty tissue, ready to be thrown out at any time. They don't know what it means to dream. They don't know there is life outside of selling their bodies. They don't know what it means to be loved by a man. They've been terribly deceived, and I have the truth! I have exactly what they need to know inside of me... I know that God is so good, and He is so big and has such extraordinary plans for each one of them. I believe that He can redeem their pasts. I believe He can undo the damage that has been done in their lives. I refuse to believe that this is the end of their stories. The best stories have a hero, the best stories are stories of redemption.
They bring me to life. They are the calling Jesus put on my life years and years ago.
I have to believe that there is something that makes you come alive. Maybe it's not prostitutes and women's ministry. Maybe it's not ministry at all. But I know there is something that pulls at your heart, something that lights a fire inside of you. If you don't know what it is, start praying circles around it. Be specific. God will reveal it to you, if you ask him. Learn to dream. Choose to rush headlong into the most hazardous and impossible circumstances without pausing to consider the impossibilities.
I promise, it's worth it.
