You Know Me

This song shakes me. I've been listening to it on repeat for about 5 days, and I can't get past it. There's something about music... It tells a story but doesn't require a conclusion. It can be played again and again and still stir something inside of us. It invites us to join in on the story and make it our own. This song has become my story this week.

"Nothing is hidden from your sight. Wherever I go, you find me. You know every detail of my life. You are God and you don't miss a thing."

I think we've all experienced dry seasons of our lives. In those seasons, it's easy to feel unimportant. Maybe there has been distance in your relationship with your dad, or maybe you're taking 18 hours of school and working and you feel lonely because you're so busy. Or maybe the person you love the most walked out of your life without warning....

"You know when I rise, and when I fall. You know when I come or go. You see it all. You hung the stars, and you move the sea... and still You know me."

These words ignite my soul. It's as if Jesus is speaking them right to me. Those feelings of sorrow and seasons of drought are lies from hell. He remains the same and he says that he never leaves us nor forsakes us. Everything is laid bare before his eyes. He is so immense that he created the mountains and the sea, and so particular that he put the right number of muscles in the head of a caterpillar.

And still he knows you. He doesn't miss a thing.

Maybe you just walked across the stage at your graduation, or you just got home from a foreign country and you have one week before you leave again, and you're tired and you need to be refueled. Or maybe you just walked down the aisle to the love of your life and your mom wasn't there because she's in heaven with Jesus... Even when you feel like you're missing the most important person or people in your life, still God is there and he doesn't miss a single thing.

We have to choose to take God at his word. He says that he directs our steps. He hasn't forgotten you. He knows your pain. He knows that you feel lonely. He knows that you're scarred from that dysfunctional relationship. He knows that you feel unworthy. But He cares so much about you that He knows when you rise and when you fall. He pays attention to the details. He planned your steps long ago to do the things that he cut out for you to do, to go the places that he wants you to go... to reach the people he wants you to reach. You can't run from him. Wherever you go, he will find you because he desires you.... even in your ugliest state. He won't leave you that way. He took all those feelings of despair and hung on the cross so that you could walk in freedom. He is the greatest pursuer the world has ever known. He won't stop until he has your heart.

You are so very important.

Be

It's been a couple months since I've written. Maybe because I've been figuring things out in my own life, or maybe because I'm conflicted on what I'm supposed to write, or maybe it's a little of both. I write because I'm a visual learner, and when I feel God speaking something to me it's easier for me to learn it when I can read it. Plus, it's made public for all of you to learn too.

What I've been feeling lately is that we all carry a lot of pressure. We live our lives with the intention to impress. We want to do the right thing, say the right thing, be the right thing that the right person is looking for. We do our best to live our lives inside the lines.

For those of us who were raised in Christian homes, we feel the pressure of setting the example. We are told from a very young age that the world is watching us, and we may be the only Jesus anyone ever sees.... so don't mess up. That's basically the message. "Don't mess up, people are watching." When you do mess up, you're a hypocrite...

For those of us who weren't raised in the church, we feel like there is no hope for us. That we've made all these mistakes, and there is no way "their" God would want to use someone like me to make any sort of difference. Or maybe we feel like we can eventually get in good standing with God, but we feel like we have to jump through fiery hoops before we are considered good enough. We have to be this, or be that, or do this, or do that. We have to go to this small group, and raise our hands during worship and give our Saturdays to cleaning up downtown. We have to laugh at the right jokes, and not laugh at the wrong ones. We have to date the right people and go here or there.

I feel like we're missing it.

You don't have to be a straight A student, or the team captain. You don't have to be the small group leader or marathon runner or the president. You don't have to be any certain thing.

We get all wrapped up in being an example and being perfect, that when we mess up we mask it. We don't want anyone to know our secrets, because we would disappoint them and we might ruin God's plan because he couldn't possible use us once we mess up.

We remove ourselves from people and set ourselves so high up that no one can reach us. We aren't relatable. Don't misunderstand me, I do not believe that we have to experience all the same things, and sin all the same ways for other people to relate to us. That would lead to chaos in my life. I'm called to women's ministry to love prostitutes, but I'm not going to become a prostitute just so they can relate to me, that's not my message. The message is, quit wearing a mask. Quit setting yourself so high up.

It's okay to have your heart broken, chances are hers is broken to. It's okay to admit that you struggle with that thing that you struggle with. It's okay so be sad about your mom.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul pleads to God to take away the thing that he struggles with and three times God says, "My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness." He goes on to say that he can boast in his weaknesses and says, "for when I am weak, then I am strong."

He gets it. He understands that He has struggles and hardships for a reason. Its like when there's a crack in a surface, and the sun shines through those cracks. We don't set an example because of how great we are in our strength. We set an example by being real. By admitting that we struggle just as much as the next person. By embracing that we are human, and allowing God to shine through that. You don't have to be raised in the church. You don't have to be in any certain position. You don't have to fill any criteria. There's a reason God chose broken people all throughout the bible. He wants to be made famous through us. He doesn't shine through out masks. He shines through the cracks in our lives.

Release the load of pressure you're carrying simply because it's too heavy for you to carry. Live your life. God says that he directs our steps when we ask him to. Ask him to. Where ever your heart is, go there. Be alive. Allow yourself to grieve. When you mess up, ask for forgiveness. Be human. Let God lead you. He died on the cross so that you wouldn't have to. The price has already been paid.

Accept the grace you've been given, and just be. When you let God shine through your weakness, he is made famous. Drop your mask, and make Him famous.