I've been wrestling with God these past few weeks about what my future is going to look like... Which is clearly a silly thing to do, because He has written it all out and it's been that way since the beginning of time. I guess, mostly, it's been a battle of insecurity about what I'm studying and what "exactly" I plan on doing with my major. You see, people don't ever ask what you want to do with your life, they ask what you want to do with your major. I have big dreams of working with women and sharing the love of Jesus throughout to world... I can't really get a degree for that at the University of Oklahoma. So you might ask, "why didn't you pick a Christian college and major in Missions or Women's Ministry?" Good question. The answer is that I know OU is exactly where I am supposed to be in this season of my life. I've been surrounded by women who constantly pour into my life and teach me things for now and my future that I could never learn in a classroom.
Beyond that, I know OU is where I am at because I spent long hours praying it out, and I walked onto that campus for the first time with the peace that it would be my new home for the next four years.
The Lord constantly reminds me of how I got here, and the fact of the matter is that through the course of a series of unfortunate events, I was so broken and confused that I asked Him to step in and truly take over for the first time. He did, and He began to breathe these dreams and ideas into my heart bit by bit. Big dreams. Dreams to see women and children and their pimps and their govenments set free from the bondage and captivitiy the enemy had wrapped around them. He is giving me ideas to see these dreams come alive, and He is putting people in my life that I can connect with. People who have the same heart as me, and who are passionate to see this world turned upside down by the grace and power of the Almighty God... Fierce men and women who are not afraid of what the enemy has plotted against them; men and women who have the very heart beat of God and will go into the depths of hell on earth to rescue these women without stopping to consider the impossibilities.
A couple days ago I needed to be reminded that the future does not play out on my watch, rather on God's. Though it is important that I am fervant in seeking answers from the Lord, it is just as important that I speak those dreams and ideas into action through prayer. There is power in thanking the Lord in advance... for the lives that will collide with the grace and healing of Jesus; for putting the right people on my path that will help me get from point A to be point B; for ordering every single step that I take; for using me to bring the Good News to all Nations...
My friend spoke these wise words to me, "Like a train that cannot go where it's tracks have not been laid out, your life cannot go where it has not been prayed out."
Pray your dreams and your ideas into action. Speak life. Do not let a single negative thought or worry come out of your mouth. The words that you speak are laying the foundation of your future. You have the power of life and death, people. Choose life.
"I have put my words in your mouth, I have covered you with the shadow of my hand." Isaiah 51:16
