I LOVE COLLEGE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M HERE.
I feel like this whole experience is a dream... I always thought I was made for high school. I loved everything about high school. The teachers, the administrators, the events, the dances, the mud fights... I had the greatest high school experience, and I would defend that to my death. I dont think I would go back and change a single thing if I was given the opportunity. I built relationships in that high school that I know will stick with me throughout life, relationships that prepared me for the future.. relationships that taught me to always stay "childlike" in my faith. If anything, I was definitely blessed with shaking the right hands at the right time.
Now I'm in college, and honestly... Its just about the exact same. I still have teachers that I could really love, I still have events to attend... fun surrounds me in every direction I turn. I still have so many of the same opportunities, but on a bigger scale. My friendships have expanded... new friends galore :)
The only difference is this: I dont have my parents to tell me what to do and when do it... They dont wake me up before church and wait for me while I'm getting ready. I'm on my own. I have the opportunity to find a family that I'm unfamiliar with... its uncomfortable, but it's so rewarding. I've never been so far out of my comfort zone, but I couldn't be more blessed. I've been pushed out of the nest, and I'm beginning to spread my wings.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that for the last 18 years my parents have been raising me for this very time... to go out and be who I am destined and created to be. To love and to be loved.
I went to a church called Antioch yesterday, and I completely fell in love with it. I loved the way God spoke through the pastor, Chris. The sermon was about the parable of the sower and the lesson of "planting seeds". He also spoke from Acts 17 where Paul explains that from one man came every nation, and God has already decided when each of us would rise and fall. He knew that I would come to OU and He knew I would be a Theta and He knew I would be involved in different organizations and he knows the things that I dont even know yet... He ordained every second of my life, before he even created the world.
For in Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28
It was said of David that he was a man after God's own heart... What a reputation. I can only hope that someday someone will say that I was a woman after Gods own heart... In Psalm 27 David says "The one thing I ask is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."
That was the one thing he desired. To constantly be in the Throne Room. Thats it.
He didnt ask for anything else. Not a companion or a house or a family or a job or money or whatever else they had back in his day... He just wanted to be before the Lord all the days of his life.
4 years. If that.
I have four years to walk this campus. To love these people. To pour into these lives. To learn from these professors. To teach these professors. To grow in this city. To plant seeds here. To water seeds here. To reap harvest here.
The next four years are a blank canvas. Every decision I make is like a paint stroke that ultimately paints a picture. Today is the beginning.
I want to run hard and fast after God. I want to spend every day of my life before God in His throne room. I want my words and my actions and my decisions and my thoughts to make Jesus famous...
So I run with purpose in every step... 1 Corinthians 9:26
Wherever you find yourself today, tomorrow... You are beginning a new day. It's a new start. A fresh start. Run hard and fast... He has ordained your every move, your every breath. Never forget that you are called and equipped. Even if you're not qualified, you're called! Let God make up the rest, and he will... He loves you, so much. He watches over you and laughs at the silly things you do and say.
You are never alone.
8.23.2010
8.06.2010
The Countdown Begins...
6 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE INTO MY NEW HOME IN NORMAN OKLAHOMA...
I can't believe it. I have a rush of emotions filling my heart and my head. I'm nervous, and exciting, and confident, and hopeful, and anxious, and ready, and sad, and joyful, and willing... I have so much before me, so many new friends to meet... and so many friends that are staying behind.
There are a few people back in Tulsa who get me teary eyed when I think about leaving them... My parents, my Sister, My best friend Shelly, and my small group... I am who I am today mostly because of these people.
I've been praying a lot about what I'm supposed to leave here throughout the next six days, mostly so I can be ready instead of hesitant when I drive away.
Last monday was my second to last Crazy Love small group and we saw God move in a way we hadn't yet seen in that setting. We washed each others feet, because we knew that's what Jesus did for his friends. He set an example for them, and then told them to follow Him. We talked about the symbolism of washing each others feet and what it meant to be so humiliated that we were literally on our hands and knees washing and drying our friends' feet. We got to experience the heart of Jesus first hand. It wasn't comfortable, but it was eye opening.
What would it be like if we were serious about being humble before each other? If we literally asked people what they needed and found a way to get it to them? Whether it be a listening ear, or a blanket, or a summer scarf that we have a thousand of? What if it was a mattress or a friend or a meal? I think if we heard these needs, we would be quick to move... but what will it take for us to stop and ask? - To be so humiliated before eachother that we will give whatever we have... even if it is to wash someones feet.
My best friend, Shelly, is going to TU to play soccer... She has already moved in, and my friends and I went to go see her new room and experience "dorm life" with her. It stirred something in my heart... I was finally getting excited to move away! Then I realized, Shelly wouldn't be coming with me. Shelly has been my rock throughout the past few years... She was an answer to prayer, to say the least. She was the light Jesus put in my path when it was too dark for me to see, and when I was too weak to even open my eyes. She came alongside me, and she lifted me up. Honestly, I don't know if I would be here today without Shelly. Jesus knew what He was doing when He put her in my life,he knew we would need each other, and because of that I know we will always be friends. She has become my sister, more than anything else. We share a lot of the same passions, and a lot of the same dreams. She's going to be a Missionary by teaching someday, and I am so so so excited to see where she lands. "Spin the Globe" Shelly :)
I feel like I am too young to be moving away. I can't believe I'm going to be living without my parents. Today, my friend Margie asked me what I was going to miss the most about Tulsa and I said, "I think coming home every night and sharing feelings with my dad." I can't believe I wont be walking into my house, and seeing him waiting up for me. I can't believe I wont have my mom to come home to and cry to when I'm just having one of those days... or just need to cry. I can't believe she won't be waiting in my dorm room telling me to do something with that sassy tone in your voice... Her poweful outlook on life has shaped my personality and my sense of humor. I can't believe I wont be able to hear the two of them laughing hysterically with each other when I'm trying to sleep. I'm not Miss Independent when it comes to my family, so I think that will be one of my greatest obstacles. I guess I'm realizing how blessed I am to come from the family I come from.
My sister has finally moved back to Tulsa - and now I'm leaving her. She keeps telling me to find my "safe place" in Norman that I can go to or drive to when I need to cry - but she doesn't understand that She is my safe place. Whether we are in Florida and we wind up at the Donut Hole, or we are in Tulsa and we end up in the parking lot of Union High School... She's been my safe place, and I'm so so sad to be leaving her.
So these are my feelings about leaving - All my sisters, and my Dad.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME. My dad sent me an email about all the things that I needed to hear as I move to college... but they were all things that could be found in my own writing: on my blog, or on my facebook wall. I know that God has been preparing my heart for all the new things that I'm about to encounter. All the new people, and new friends, and new stories, and new organizations and churches... I know that I am equipped... I'm just trusting that God will guide my steps.
"The world is knocking at your front door. Clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be." -Anis Mojgani
Here is to something new. Something beautiful. Stay tuned for all the new, hectic, exciting, scary adventures that I'm about to call my life!
It is all counted as Something Beautiful.
I can't believe it. I have a rush of emotions filling my heart and my head. I'm nervous, and exciting, and confident, and hopeful, and anxious, and ready, and sad, and joyful, and willing... I have so much before me, so many new friends to meet... and so many friends that are staying behind.
There are a few people back in Tulsa who get me teary eyed when I think about leaving them... My parents, my Sister, My best friend Shelly, and my small group... I am who I am today mostly because of these people.
I've been praying a lot about what I'm supposed to leave here throughout the next six days, mostly so I can be ready instead of hesitant when I drive away.
Last monday was my second to last Crazy Love small group and we saw God move in a way we hadn't yet seen in that setting. We washed each others feet, because we knew that's what Jesus did for his friends. He set an example for them, and then told them to follow Him. We talked about the symbolism of washing each others feet and what it meant to be so humiliated that we were literally on our hands and knees washing and drying our friends' feet. We got to experience the heart of Jesus first hand. It wasn't comfortable, but it was eye opening.
What would it be like if we were serious about being humble before each other? If we literally asked people what they needed and found a way to get it to them? Whether it be a listening ear, or a blanket, or a summer scarf that we have a thousand of? What if it was a mattress or a friend or a meal? I think if we heard these needs, we would be quick to move... but what will it take for us to stop and ask? - To be so humiliated before eachother that we will give whatever we have... even if it is to wash someones feet.
My best friend, Shelly, is going to TU to play soccer... She has already moved in, and my friends and I went to go see her new room and experience "dorm life" with her. It stirred something in my heart... I was finally getting excited to move away! Then I realized, Shelly wouldn't be coming with me. Shelly has been my rock throughout the past few years... She was an answer to prayer, to say the least. She was the light Jesus put in my path when it was too dark for me to see, and when I was too weak to even open my eyes. She came alongside me, and she lifted me up. Honestly, I don't know if I would be here today without Shelly. Jesus knew what He was doing when He put her in my life,he knew we would need each other, and because of that I know we will always be friends. She has become my sister, more than anything else. We share a lot of the same passions, and a lot of the same dreams. She's going to be a Missionary by teaching someday, and I am so so so excited to see where she lands. "Spin the Globe" Shelly :)
I feel like I am too young to be moving away. I can't believe I'm going to be living without my parents. Today, my friend Margie asked me what I was going to miss the most about Tulsa and I said, "I think coming home every night and sharing feelings with my dad." I can't believe I wont be walking into my house, and seeing him waiting up for me. I can't believe I wont have my mom to come home to and cry to when I'm just having one of those days... or just need to cry. I can't believe she won't be waiting in my dorm room telling me to do something with that sassy tone in your voice... Her poweful outlook on life has shaped my personality and my sense of humor. I can't believe I wont be able to hear the two of them laughing hysterically with each other when I'm trying to sleep. I'm not Miss Independent when it comes to my family, so I think that will be one of my greatest obstacles. I guess I'm realizing how blessed I am to come from the family I come from.
My sister has finally moved back to Tulsa - and now I'm leaving her. She keeps telling me to find my "safe place" in Norman that I can go to or drive to when I need to cry - but she doesn't understand that She is my safe place. Whether we are in Florida and we wind up at the Donut Hole, or we are in Tulsa and we end up in the parking lot of Union High School... She's been my safe place, and I'm so so sad to be leaving her.
So these are my feelings about leaving - All my sisters, and my Dad.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME. My dad sent me an email about all the things that I needed to hear as I move to college... but they were all things that could be found in my own writing: on my blog, or on my facebook wall. I know that God has been preparing my heart for all the new things that I'm about to encounter. All the new people, and new friends, and new stories, and new organizations and churches... I know that I am equipped... I'm just trusting that God will guide my steps.
"The world is knocking at your front door. Clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be." -Anis Mojgani
Here is to something new. Something beautiful. Stay tuned for all the new, hectic, exciting, scary adventures that I'm about to call my life!
It is all counted as Something Beautiful.
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