She's Worth More

It's been an incredible journey through Thailand over the past couple months, and honestly a bit surreal that it's coming to a close. There's been days that felt like minutes, and moments that completely stopped the hands of time. There were nights that I've never felt more alive, and nights that I've wished to be far from the cold darkness that engulfed these streets. At times, I believed I had never had a more life-giving community, and other times I felt like my heart had been lost in the masses, completely misunderstood. There was moments of pure joy and hysterical laughter, and moments of terrifying spiritual warfare. We were a group of 20 American girls, walking through our own crap, but coming together as the body of Christ to illuminate the darkness in Chiang Mai... and I truly believe we did that.

Looking back, I see a shift in our ministry about half way through our time here. From the beginning, the bar moms, girls, men and pimps could immediately tell we were different. We walked into empty bars, ordered a couple sprites, and asked a few girls to play pool with us. They would ask us what we were doing in Chiang Mai and we would tell them we were here on vacation and were teaching English at a local college. Then we would come back with small talk questions, "what's your name?" "where are you from?" "how long have you been here?" in hopes to build some sort of foundation for a new friendship. Many of these conversations did turn into friendships! and my friends spent much of their two months investing in specific girls, teaching them English, taking them to lunch, singing karaoke, exploring waterfalls and ultimately sharing their own stories with them.

In the beginning, my heart was hard toward the men we found there... the sex industry is supply and demand at it's finest... these men were the very ones who were fueling the industry. If there wasn't a demand, maybe these girls would be in school. But whatever animosity once stood between me and those men, soon became a burning desire for them to be set free from their own captivity.

We no longer only looked for quiet bars with a few lonely girls... instead we entered booming bars with loud men and rampant personality. At this point, the bar moms, the men and our new friends knew us. The girls would see us walk in, and immediately get up from the men they were entertaining to greet us with open arms. The bar moms would ask if we wanted a couple sprites, and the men told us we were "brave" for coming to such a place. This time, we no longer told them about our vacation or the schools we were teaching at... we told them about our heart for these girls, and our desire to see them set free from those bars. We told them that those girls were our friends, and we loved them so we came to visit them. We looked at the men as if they were something special as well... as if they were worth knowing, because they are. Because for whatever reason, they believed the lie that they could escape their sorrow and misery back home and find fulfillment from the alcohol and women in the red light district. But when they met us, they encountered something different. We no longer had a passive mindset toward these men, rather I was desperate to tell them who they could be.

Each night our team split into two groups. Nine of us would hit the streets, while the other 11 of us would stay back and intercede. We prayed for opportunities to speak the name of Jesus, we asked for men to get up and walk out of the bars, we prayed for vision and peace to overwhelm our teammates so they could have meaningful conversations without fear of anything seen or unseen. We prayed that the men would notice we were different and approach us to find out why....

 I'll never forget the night I met my friend Peter from Ireland. He was around my dad's age... and I immediately noticed him when we walked in. I was at the pool table playing a game with my friends Da and Gale and suddenly Peter walks past me toward the bathroom. We made eye contact and I smiled, and then kept playing pool with my friends. A few minutes later, Peter comes walking out the bathroom and this time he stops to talk to me. First, he asked me where I was from and then proceeded to compliment how beautiful my expression was... he said he had never seen anything like it. He told me that I wasn't just pretty.... but radiant. I didn't feel
uncomfortable or violated, because it honestly seemed pure - like he was truly in awe, and this was the opportunity I had been praying for... He said, "you must be blessed by Buddha or the gods or something..." but I told him it was Jesus. He looked at me for a couple seconds in silence, and then added a few more compliments and told me he was going back to his friends at the bar, but that it was nice to meet me and that he hopes I enjoy my time in Thailand.... I'm not sure what happened in his mind for those few seconds of silence, and perhaps I will never see Peter again... but he encountered something different that night, and that is why I came to Thailand.

I came for those men just as much as I came for those women. My heart aches for my girls in there, because I've seen their suffering and I've heard their pleas for help. They don't want to be there. They don't want to strip down to barely nothing, and expose themselves for the pleasure of a man. There's no safety, or purity or dignity in that. They dream of a man who will pursue them and love them and cultivate them, just the same way I do. They want to learn English so they can get a good job, and support their families. They want to believe that tomorrow will be better.... but first they need us to stand up on their behalf. They need Godly men to set the example... these women are being manipulated and abused because we are standing by and indulging in our own desires.

Men, the porn industry fuels the supply and demand... when you think that a couple clicks aren't going to hurt anyone, there are women who are forced to engage against their will, and instead of rescuing them, we are tightening their chains. This is a desperate call for you to wake up. Millions of young women are exploited day in and day out and we need men, along with women, to rise up and call for justice. Get educated on the subject. Ask questions. Find someone to hold you accountable, because the truth is that she's worth so much more than a half-hearted habit. That same habit that requires nothing of you, requires every fiber of her being and every ounce of her heart. She is a human being. She was perfectly created for a purpose. She was made in God's image and she was bought with the blood of Jesus. She's a daughter of the Most High King... and she's waiting for us to go get her; to do something about this.

Rise up. She's worth more. 

Roses and Rays of Hope

Mere, Mel and I stood downstairs at our hostel before we took the streets and we gathered in prayer to prepare our hearts for the Red Light District, but also to prepare the Red Light District for us. Each one of us prayed for a specific thing. Mel prayed for the little kids who often wander around the RLD, in and out of bars, selling roses and necklaces. She prayed that the cycle that these kids have grown up in will end with them. They will not stay in the RLD forever, because that's not what God intended for them. She prayed that they would be drawn to us, and that we would be able to offer them a ray of hope... I prayed for the people along the streets... the ones with darkness in their eyes. The ones who look like they really aren't there at all. I prayed that Jesus would open my eyes to them, and that I could love them where they were, however that looked to Him. Mere asked Jesus to give her a word or a picture... some kind of direction for the night. She got the word "flower" and then we set off for the night with wide eyes and full hearts.

As we walked down the street, a few girls waved to us and asked up to come in and sit down. So we ordered a coke for each of us, and then one extra for the girl who would sit with us. We asked her to play a game, and she sat down for a few games of Connect Four but it was obvious that she wasn't interested in us. Immediately after she got up to tend to the men in her bar, a little boy approached us (cue Mel's prayer). He was offering single roses for 20 baht, so I bought one and asked him to play me in Connect Four. He kicked my butt 3 times before giving up on me and asking Mere to play with him. We offered him the extra sprite we ordered, and I reveled in the moment because he was operating in his 10-year-old nature. His feet were kicked up, he was sipping on a sprite, and he was laughing at how bad we were at a silly game. It was a ray of hope for him, even if only for a moment.

We paid for our drinks and then walked down the street toward our next destination. The next bar is one of my personal favorites. My sweet Friend, N, is the bar mom at this bar and we immediately connected a few weeks ago when I went to her bar for afternoon bar ministry. She's around 50 years old, and she refers to herself as "mom" because she's in charge of so many girls. She's also as quiet as a mouse... often times I can't communicate with her because she's so soften spoken. However, despite the language barrier and the lack of volume, I love every minute spent with her.

 

We sat down and ordered a couple cokes and a water and played jenga with a few girls in her bar. Mostly we took pictures and hugged... easy for you to understand why we might be friends. Then suddenly our little boy from the previous bar was standing behind us, giving us pointers on how to win the game! He followed us from one bar to the next because he loved being around us... he was drawn to us. I'm praying that we get to see him again. While we were playing, a woman selling bouquets of roses approached me, so I bought a handful of roses and I knew this was a tangible way to love on people on the streets.  Then we kissed N goodbye, and promised to come back for her. Something in stirring in that place, and I love watching it with my own eyes.





We thought the word "flower" that Jesus gave Mere might have been the dozens of roses that were around us... the roses we bought from the woman, the roses the little boy was selling, the rose scarf N was wearing, her rose print fingernails, the rose tattoo on her shoulder.... it seemed to be a running theme. But it didn't end there. As we walked down the street, we came across a new bar... it had a different atmosphere than the ones around it. There weren't any girls sitting outside trying to lure us in, there weren't any men in the bar at all... 4 Thai girls sat at the bar and giggled while they talked with one another.... We looked up at the sign and it read, "The Rose Bar." It took us about half a second for us to decide to go in and sit down. We picked a booth in the far back of the bar, and one girl came to take our order but otherwise they left us alone. We chose to use that time to pray over the Rose Bar and N and the little boy and the RLD and Chiang Mai... Hope was being restored for that place in the form of a group of white girls, and Jesus was certainly up to something.

While we were talking and praying together, I felt like Jesus was telling me to pray for N's voice... literally and symbolically. She is a bar mom, so she has power of the girls in her bar. They watch her and look up to her and she sets the standard for the girls. So I began to pray that she would literally speak up, so that I could begin to have real conversations with her... conversations that would bring hope and healing and truth. Then I began to pray that she would catch on those things and that she would be the light in the darkness for those people. She would be the voice for those girls, and that through her testimony, hundreds of girls would leave those bars. I prayed that she would be like a roaring lion in that place, that her voice would call for change. Shortly after that, the song "Roar" came through the speakers and the lyrics literally say, "I am a champion, and you're going to hear me Roar, louder than the lion." I love when Jesus speaks through Katy Perry ;)

We left that bar with hope and joy... and as we passed out our flowers to the women on the streets, we saw their eyes light up. Someone had noticed them... someone saw that they existed, and every girl loves flowers.

When we met up with our teammates back at the hostel to debrief, one group of girls had a very different experience. She had a hard conversation with a girl who spoke of the darkness she was living in. She described, in detail, the heaviness of her life. She was working 2 jobs so she could send money back to her son who was living with her parents hours away from Chiang Mai... she had contemplated and attempted suicide twice, and she said, "who would ever want me?" ... As our team members sobbed as they told us of the way they poured their hearts into this girl... They cried to God for freedom for this girl... because the truth is, Jesus wants her. She is precious to him... and it is not about what she's done or seen or what has happened to her. It was never about that, and it never will be about that. It's about grace, and hope and healing and renewal.

My friend Jamie talks about how life is Heavy and Light, and it's okay to be honest and real about it. Sometimes we dance through life and rejoice, and other times we cry and hurt and question. The reality is that each day is different for each of us, and when we through life we never truly know what we might get. There will be days of hard conversations and moments that break our hearts, and there will be moments of hope and light in the darkest places. I won't stop hoping for this place. I won't stop going into the bars and bringing the light with me. I won't stop praying for the men to leave, and I won't stop believing that those girls see something different in me. I love them, and I want, so badly, to walk through the heaviness and through the light with them.

This is why we are here. Maybe you're not stuck in the bars... maybe you live in America and you live a nice life, or maybe you're wondering how life turned to hell so quickly. It's okay to feel those things, and it's okay to be honest about it. There is hope and restoration, and when we expose the darkness to the light, the darkness loses all it's power. The light is coming to the RLD in Chiang Mai, and I believe it's coming for you too, wherever you might be.

Speak up. The light wins. Hope is coming.